One. There has not been one day since I have lived here that the temperature has not been above 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and the high has been 109 degrees Fahrenheit on average for the past 15 days. Ironically, I don't sweat any more than I did in cooler temperatures (yes, i have the right to call the 80's cooler) in fact I might be so bold as to say I sweat less. Unless I sit and essentially force a garment to soak up my secretion all of the sweat evaporates leaving me fresh and sexy.
The problem here however is that even though I am more consistently fresh and sexy here in AZ, I have yet to be engaged by any of the pretty phoenix females...I have been told that if I had my car with me this would be a different story, but no matter. I am living large here.
Two. There is no two, nor is there 11 other pervading themes on account of the heat being a lot more pervasive as I thought about it more.
The Story of the Change Burn
It is so hot here, that change (as in coins of monetary value) that was lying in a compartment thus hidden from direct sunlight within our family's van burnt my two of my fingers quite severely when I was attempting to pay for and In-N-Out Burger.
The Story of The Handle Burn
The second day I was here, I spent much of that day applying at restaurants for jobs (which has led to no avail, so if you know someone who has a job in Phoenix, AZ please let me know) and in doing so I opened a lot of doors between 2 and 4 in the afternoon when restaurants were least busy. After being burnt by the first two doors, I became so fearful of the following doors I opened that at one point I used my shirt to protect my hand from being burnt once more. Some establishments had gone so far as to tie a towel around their door handle to protect their customers.
Orientation in T-Minus 9 days, 21 hours, 5 minutes and counting. Go Bearcats.
2 comments:
don't let the ninja-heat (stealthy high temperatures) get to your head kd. always wield an iced drink and towel -- and if you decide to bring your utility belt: a spray bottle. pce.
are you even kidding me?!?! Yet, I think I see a fantastic entrepreneurial opportunity here. What can we invent to prevent handle burning? Decorative, ready-to-wear, light weight oven mitts for every outfit? Variety of colors and fabrics... Someone as cool as you is bound to be able to get the trend started.
Just think - a bank robber can escape without leaving prints because he burned off his fingertips on the door! ARIZONA - the place to be a criminal.
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